Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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