i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
