i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
