Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
