he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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