Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
