i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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