Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
