I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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