I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
