i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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