It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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