He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
