Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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