Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I could fuck to npr.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
