you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
