There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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