dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
