why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
