coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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