We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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