OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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