worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
