then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
