I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
