I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
