She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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