I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
