you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.