all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dating After Heartbreak
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.