hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
