We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize