What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
