She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
