Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
