He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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