Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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