Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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