how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
only you would photoshop your dick
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
