That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
