roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Houston, we have a blender
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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