i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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