Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
two words: eviction party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
