that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
