I wish life had little blips of pornography
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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