So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
