first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
