I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
