Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
