It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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