it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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