I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
