apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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