Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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