I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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