I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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