everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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