HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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