u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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