Are we in a gay sports bar?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize