My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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