i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
