stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
