Plan B is the new Plan A
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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