nut hugger
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
