O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
