I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
