id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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