I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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